Just an ordinary week...

This week at our house we have been through a life changing eye appointment (for the good), a teenage breakup (which is ok), a visit from Santa (awesome), a snow day (well enjoyed), a bomb scare at our high school (well, scary), high school finals (well, they are over), a grade school Christmas program (precious), and the start of Christmas break (WAHOO)!
As some of you may know Kaden doesn't always excel at school, and we may have learned one of the reasons why this week. His eyes don't work! You know what they say about mother's intuition, I knew something just wasn't right. We are dealing with sleep apnea as well, so they are a lot of issues in this little mans life. I won't bore you with all the details, but I took him to an eye Dr. this week for a developmental eye exam which is very different from a vision exam. He has no depth perception, yep that's right 0! No wonder he doesn't want to ride a bike! He has tracking issues, in a nut shell the letters "dance" all over the paper, he can't see rows, there is a lot going on, but he DOES have good vision?!? Yeah right? Well, we have a long road ahead of us, he will be starting eye therapy and hopefully we will be able to help him learn in a way that works for him. When the Dr. told Kaden it wasn't his fault, and there was help for him, you could see this little boys whole body relax, and a smile beamed from his face, I sat there and cried! We will keep you updated on his progress.
As for the rest of the week, it's pretty self explanatory. Never a dull moment. Just like I like it!
Thank you God for blessing me immensely.

What's Your Story?

Above our front door is a sign that says-Home... Where Their Stories Begin
Today our 3rd son turns 9. Last week I was at a baby shower, I sat there thinking how did my children grow up so fast? I was just at my baby shower. Well, anyway it got me thinking about our sign and how true it is. This IS where their stories begin. We all have a story. We might not think it's exciting, we may think it's not worth telling, maybe we just don't realize we have a story to tell. Each of my four children came into this world with an amazing story, each birth very different, but each very amazing. And believe me they each have stories to tell! Some are great, some are good, some are hard, some are sad but ALL amazing. Our stories make us who we are, who we will become. Sometimes we wish we could erase a page of our story and re-write it, maybe make it more of a fairy tale. I realize I have a story, I know my mom remembers the day I was born, the day my story started. Most definitely pages I'd like to re-write. To save myself sadness or sorrow or hardship. But thinking about it, those hard pages, those are the pages that define me, make me stronger, better, wiser (maybe). So boys on those days you wish you could erase, remember you are writing amazing stories, every day a page of your novel. Good, bad, happy, sad and a whole lot of funny! All of us no matter our age still have a lot of blank pages, so I am going to add to my novel today celebrating 9 years with Carson! He already has an awesome story....and so do I. Thank you God for blessing me immensely.

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!

(Younger readers should refrain from reading this in the best interest of Christmas magic)

I despise lying. I have little or no toleration for it. My family knows it's the worse thing you could do to me.  If you have done something "man up" take the punishment if there if will be one, and move on. Lie to me and you may unleash the wrath.

That being said...
My soft spoken 8 yr. old recently came to me and quietly asked "are you Santa?". Without even thinking I uttered the words "no, are you kidding me, do I look like Santa?" I received a very cute smirk and smile that unspoken said I just called my mom fat and jolly! That was the end of the conversation. I lied!! As soon as I started talking I had doubts about what I was doing. I hoped he could not sense a lie a mile a way like I can, I also hoped I was a better liar then he is. He couldn't tell a lie to save his life. (And we should all pray for him if he ever has too!) Then I realized that I've been lying to him his whole life. Guilt starts to set in. I am such a hypocrite. A selfish hypocrite at that. I only lied because I am not ready for him to be a non believer. Maybe he IS ready. On December 1st every year my children receive a package in the mail. In it contains a baggie of goodies for each of them to count down the days till Christmas and a very personal letter for each from Santa. These letters are theirs and it is up to them whether or not they share them.  Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. Carson was very anxious to read his letter aloud today. Santa expressed how he had heard the question Carson had asked me. He explained that it is ok to doubt. It's sometimes hard to believe with everything on TV ect... Santa also wrote to Carson that he knew Carson knew the true meaning of Christmas and that it really doesn't have anything to do with Santa at all. That Christmas is about baby Jesus and His story, and that some people even doubt His story. He explained that our world today is filled with doubters and that he doesn't want Carson to be one of them. Santa asked Carson to be his special ambassador and help spread joy this Christmas season. Only very special boys and girls are asked to be ambassadors. More lies. What am I doing? The sparkle in Carson's eyes just might be worth it. I haven't decided yet. I have decided though that is far more important to make believers out of my children when it comes to His story. So for now I have unleashed the wrath on myself. I am a liar, and I don't like it. I am a hypocrite and I don't like that either. Someday he will forgive me...the older two have =) Thank you God for blessing me immensely and for your forgiveness.

Mohawks and Memories

The 2010 football season started last June, 2 days after school was let out for the summer.
Kohl loves football, I have never once heard him complain about going to practice, it doesn't matter
if it's 110 degrees or -10 he loves it. He loves it at 6:00 in the morning and he loves it at 8:00 at night.
I have seen him eat salt to help rehydrate on extreme heat days and I have seen him with fingers
swollen due to the cold. He still loves it. Bruises and scrapes are bragged about not complained
about. Sounds awful doesn't it? You are probably thinking why do we let him play, why do we
let him abuse his body? But it's really not that bad, especially when they love it as much as Kohl
does. (By the way he's required more emergency care playing baseball and roller blading and messing
around with his brothers then he's ever required for football!) Football in our town is rich with tradition.
Some of which include eating tacos as a team after Monday's practice, eating Chinese on Wednesdays
after practice and Thursday night there is a family meal. Tradition also states that when you make it
to the playoffs you get Mohawks. Kohl got his Mohawk proudly. (Once again you are thinking why?)
I don't know why?! It's only hair and it will grow back, but the memories and camaraderie will last
his lifetime. No one will soon forget this season. 11-1. Pretty amazing. It's the 1 that still stings a little.
I however don't think it hurts because they lost, I think it hurts because "what do we do now"? So, the
first Monday with no football, they ate tacos. We will see what Wednesday brings. Thursday there
won't be a family meal at the high school, but there will be one at home. I think I will make meatballs.
The same thing I have made every Thursday for the past 12 weeks upon request. Football is sometimes
over rated. The friends and memories Kohl has made are not. They are one of the best things that will
ever happen to him. Professional athletes ARE over rated and most definitely over paid. They are suppose to be role models for our young people, instead they are disappointments. I think the role models
around here get paid $0. They play because they love it, they play with heart. They make a public
display of "play what you love, play hard, learn lessons, and be proud"! I always want my children
to walk away from what they have done feeling proud. If you can't walk away proud you probably
haven't done your best, or represented yourself properly. Always winning isn't what should make you
proud, sometimes you have to lose. One of my proudest moments of all these fine young men this season, but especially you Kohl, was the way you handled yourself on the day you became 11 and 1. One of my favorite sayings as a mom of 4 boys is...
You don't raise hero's, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they will turn out to be heroes even if it's only just in your eyes.      -- Walter M. Schirra Sr.
Kohlie if I haven't told you lately you are one of my most treasured heroes. Ily.
Thank you God for blessing me immensely.

Rushed

Kaden has been asking for weeks, since pumpkins first began showing up in the stores, "Mom, can we make a homemade pumpkin pie, with pumpkins not from a can?" I'd always say "yes, someday". Because that's what we as moms say when we would like to do something, but aren't really sure when we can fit it in. To be honest, I am not sure I really ever had any intentions of making a homemade pumpkin pie. Not because I don't like pie, not because I was afraid of the mess, not because I didn't want to spend time with Kaden, it just wasn't on the schedule. We have a mammoth sized calender, that most days is full. (and I'm not kidding, it is one of my favorite things and it is really called a mammoth grid calender!) But the poor boy kept asking, and asked enough that Grandma brought us 2 pie pumpkins. Now I am starting to feel bad, even Grandma knows how bad he wants this pie. So the pumpkins sit. Well one night this week we didn't have much going on, homework was done and we had some down time. I say "So Kaden, you want to make some pumpkin pie?" He says "really and NOT from a can?" I say "really!" Let the pie baking commence. He helps with everything, scooping out the seeds, cutting and baking the pumpkin, scooping pumpkin goop and mixing it with all the other ingredients, putting it in the oven. Happy boy. That was easy. We were having so much fun, and weren't worried about where to be next or who had what and so on. That we didn't realize how late it had gotten. Kaden needed to get to bed, it was a school night, but he had waited so long for this pie...it had to bake an hour and fifteen minutes. When we get the pie in the oven I say to him how late it is. His reply "it's ok mom, I can eat it for breakfast!" And he marched off to bed. Happy. Why had I waited so long? Why wasn't pie on the mammoth calender? Why is life so crazy that pie is hard? I love our fast paced life, really I wouldn't want it any other way. However, I think it should be mandatory that the mammoth grid have a few days blocked out for nothing but pie....or at least pie making type activities. I love you Kaden, and you make yummy, yummy pie, "from a pumpkin NOT a can"! Thank you God for blessing me immensely.

Another week...

I was trying to decide what to write about this week. And you would think with
our busy life style there would be something. But not every week has big events.
Some are small, and the impact they leave feels very small. Then I started thinking
about our week. As some of you may know Chase's cross country coach and his
family lost their house to a fire this past week. All were safe, but they lost so much.
So, at last Friday's football game the cross country team decided to set up a table and
take a collection for their coach and his family. It was a small table with a small sign, and
a jar. I think those boys were a bit unprepared for what happened next. People gave!
So unselfishly, they filled the jar. On Saturday after an emotional and not so great meet,
which was the last of the season, they as a team handed Coach an envelope. Some had no
idea how much was inside, some did. It didn't matter. Without even looking in the envelope,
without even caring how much it was, Coach began to tear up. (As well as every other man,
woman, and child in the vicinity.) He knew what these teenage boys had done for him and
his family. Coach doesn't consider himself needy right now, nor do we. He is unwilling to
take from someone else who has greater needs. But this was a gift. A gift I don't think he
or any of us will soon forget.
Also anyone knowing our Kaden, knows school is not his favorite. He has his reasons and they
are legit. We are actively working on them. He tries with his whole heart, and I could not ask
for more. It seems that the three before him have found learning easy, and he has to follow
in their footsteps. Kaden has word card tests every week and these prove to be a bit difficult for
him, so he also gets a little anxious. We encourage him in anyway we can. This week he wanted
to know if he got a 100% on his word card test could we buy him this special nerf gun he's been
wanting? Seems like a pretty pricey bribe, but I fell for it, as he hasn't gotten a 100 before. I feel
safe that I won't be having to buy this toy, but in my quiet place I hope with all that I am that I
will have to buy this toy! He worked so hard all week, and today is the day......I hope I have to
visit Wal-Mart tonight!
Some weeks it's the small stuff that turns out to be the really BIG stuff. Every day is a lesson for me,
I thank God for blessing me immensely.

More Firsts

As I mentioned before, we have had a lot of firsts recently.
Our firstborn celebrated his 18th birthday. Our first adult.
Along with turning 18 he has chosen a college. He arranged
visits, applied, and talked to the cross country coach all on
his own. We could not be prouder. Or can we? He has been 
accepted and based on academics he has received scholarship
offers. He also recently signed a letter of intent and will also
be receiving cross country/track scholarships. We are so proud of
him. I of course am saddened to see my baby grow up and not need
me quite so much, but it is a comforting feeling to see what he can do
on his own. I have no doubts that he has a bright future, he knows where
he wants to go and how to get there. He has focus, and his faith.
 It's good to know life has a lot to offer him, but even better to know that he has a lot
 to offer life! I know that to grow and become the man God intended I have to let
go, and that's not easy. I also have no doubts that this fine man will remember
where his story began and always find time to come home. Thank you God for
blessing us immensely.

My First Blog

I wanted my first blog to coincide with another first for me. But since trying to write this blog we have experinced lots of firsts in our lives. The first first I am going to write about is this little thing I did the past few months, training for and running a marathon. Two friends of mine talked me into doing the Milwaukee marathon. Really they wanted to do the Chicago marathon, but by the time they convinced me I could do a marathon the Chicago one was full so we opted for Milwaukee. Which in the end was one of the best things we could of done. We followed an 18 week training program, which prepared us physically for the race. There were ups and downs of course. Ups being when you accomplish running farther then you ever have before and feeling good, and downs being when your body just doesn't want to go any farther. (You learn your body needs proper fuel and sleep and you learn to like things you didn't before like Gatorade!) Finally race day arrives and you realize that the training program has prepared you physically, but not emotionally. There is just no describing the feelings of stepping to the start line of your first marathon. You start, you run, and for me I prayed. Running is a time I often pray, it's a quiet time for reflection. The miles go by, we smile, we laugh, we are having fun. Our main goal was not to qualify for Boston, but to finish. Point A to point B we would say. We didn't have a time expectation. As the miles go by you start to see people who aren't going to finish, who are spent, and oh so disappointed. Just finish you think to yourself. Mile 24 my legs were done, but running is mind over matter, we continue. Mile 25 I see Chase. I start to cry. I am not sure why. He jogs along side of us offering encouragement. He says "I will meet you at the finish mom, just a little more!"I cry. I am usually on the side offering him words of encouragement. I am not use to the role reversal. We near the finish, which agreed we would do together. We had trained together we would finish together. I see the rest of my family with signs "That's my mommy", "You rock", "Hurry up, we are cold!" (sense of humor, very important!) I cry. They are cheering, it feels like we are in slow motion, we probably are! I cry. They were with ME every step of the way, my family. 18 weeks they cooperated and helped ME train. Race weekend happened  to fall on homecoming weekend, which they gave up for ME. They, for 5 hours and 30 some minutes waited, hoped, and cheered for ME. I cry. I am not use to it being about ME! My family is my rock, my masterpiece, I would do anything and everything for them, and I realize they would and do the same for ME. Mary and I finish our marathon hand in hand. We did it, all of us, not just ME! I thank my family, and know that even if it was just for one special day, they were as proud of ME as I am of them. Thank you GOD for blessing me so immensely.