Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!

(Younger readers should refrain from reading this in the best interest of Christmas magic)

I despise lying. I have little or no toleration for it. My family knows it's the worse thing you could do to me.  If you have done something "man up" take the punishment if there if will be one, and move on. Lie to me and you may unleash the wrath.

That being said...
My soft spoken 8 yr. old recently came to me and quietly asked "are you Santa?". Without even thinking I uttered the words "no, are you kidding me, do I look like Santa?" I received a very cute smirk and smile that unspoken said I just called my mom fat and jolly! That was the end of the conversation. I lied!! As soon as I started talking I had doubts about what I was doing. I hoped he could not sense a lie a mile a way like I can, I also hoped I was a better liar then he is. He couldn't tell a lie to save his life. (And we should all pray for him if he ever has too!) Then I realized that I've been lying to him his whole life. Guilt starts to set in. I am such a hypocrite. A selfish hypocrite at that. I only lied because I am not ready for him to be a non believer. Maybe he IS ready. On December 1st every year my children receive a package in the mail. In it contains a baggie of goodies for each of them to count down the days till Christmas and a very personal letter for each from Santa. These letters are theirs and it is up to them whether or not they share them.  Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. Carson was very anxious to read his letter aloud today. Santa expressed how he had heard the question Carson had asked me. He explained that it is ok to doubt. It's sometimes hard to believe with everything on TV ect... Santa also wrote to Carson that he knew Carson knew the true meaning of Christmas and that it really doesn't have anything to do with Santa at all. That Christmas is about baby Jesus and His story, and that some people even doubt His story. He explained that our world today is filled with doubters and that he doesn't want Carson to be one of them. Santa asked Carson to be his special ambassador and help spread joy this Christmas season. Only very special boys and girls are asked to be ambassadors. More lies. What am I doing? The sparkle in Carson's eyes just might be worth it. I haven't decided yet. I have decided though that is far more important to make believers out of my children when it comes to His story. So for now I have unleashed the wrath on myself. I am a liar, and I don't like it. I am a hypocrite and I don't like that either. Someday he will forgive me...the older two have =) Thank you God for blessing me immensely and for your forgiveness.