Answered Prayers

As I have posted in previous blogs Kaden has had some things to deal with this year. And he is dealing, and progressing. Unfortunately progress isn't always an instant fix. It takes time. Many times a day I'd love to reach for the big red easy button they show in commercials. But there isn't one. No one ever said life would be easy, they just said it would be worth it. For the past few (many) months Bob and I have had endless conversations about Kaden's future, and what the right thing to do for him is. It seems it should be easy to know what's right for your children. We have been discussing retaining. First grade times two. It seems like an easy decision, but there are so many aspects to consider. It's not just an educational decision, it's emotional and so, so much more. We stress, we worry and at the end of the day in our prayers we turn it over to God knowing He will show us the way. But alright already-show us the way. We try not to compare our kids to one another. They are all different, but honestly it's hard not to compare sometimes. This situation however is very different and the worst thing we could do is compare. None of the others had letters dancing all over the pages. In his quiet way Kaden knew he was not learning like the others in his class and at home, but he didn't know why. It took us months to help him figure it out, and now we have and we are building on that. And we pray. I hate to waste my energy on things I have no control over, but the things I do have control over are worth every last drop of energy I have. I somehow feel we should have control over this situation. But,  I feel so helpless. I don't want to mess this one up. And we pray.

One night when Kaden was having trouble sleeping he wanted to cuddle. I love my cuddle time.  Our conversation somehow got to school. He was saddened by the retirement of our schools 3rd grade teacher. "She always gets eggs for the kids to watch hatch, what if the new teacher doesn't?" We talked about the cute baby chicks. Suddenly he looked at me with the most serious and innocent eyes I have ever seen, and says (and I quote) "Mom, God has spoke to my heart. I am not ready for 2nd grade." In the next second that seemed like years my heart melted, grew and raced all at the same time. I am searching for the right words to respond. All I can manage is "Ok Buddy, are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure" again all I can manage is "Ok". I want to race to the phone and call Bob at work, but I can't move. As Kaden grabs my hand and we both drift off to the best nights sleep either of us has had in a very, very long time.

God answers prayers. We have no doubts what the right thing to do is now. We were so afraid and now we are not. Sometimes answered prayers come in a smile, a nod, a gesture. They are not always easy to spot. But somehow coming from the mouth of an innocent child I know our prayers and uncertainties were answered. With triumph comes trial, we know it's not going to be easy. I am a very laid back and patient person, but I know the first time I hear of someone teasing or taunting my son my mama bear will come out all claws bearing. But trust that I will close my eyes and see the picture of my sweet baby and the moment that is forever etched in my memory and on my heart and will have a certain calmness that will take me back to my happy place.

A lot of what I know, I learned while my son was in first grade. Thank you for teaching ME Kaden and helping ME to grow. And thank you God for blessing me so, so immensely.